I encountered something I had never seen before in my life. I was confused and scared. I thought I was having a panic attack mixed with a migraine. It was one of the oddest feelings I wasn’t sure what was happening I just remember an intense negative energy. It wasn’t until Christien and Joanne started praying over me that I felt something unnatural inside my body. Joanne had asked me to say a simple prayer that was written on a piece of paper. Those words seemed so difficult and jumbled up it took me several tries just to recite it. As soon as I was done I could feel the negativity going away and I felt normal. I decided to take a nap because I was utterly exhausted. I didn’t know having a spiritual war going inside my body was physically exhausting. I woke up instantly feeling relieved but slowly it came back and it was angry. I couldn’t even voice how I was feeling. I thought it was another migraine but this time it felt like an out of body experience. Other counselors gathered around to pray for me and I didn’t realize something was wrong until Joash was asking me to say ‘Jesus’. I knew how to say it but it wouldn’t leave my lips. I told him I couldn’t. He asked me to keep trying to keep saying it. I sat there wrestling with my mind and thinking I couldn’t give up. When the word Jesus finally came out I felt this weightlessness. I never felt so happy saying Jesus’ name. This was the first I had ever encountered a demon like that. In that moment I had no idea what was happening but looking back its a day I’ll never forget. For the first time I saw the spiritual warfare that many are talking about. Its real and its not something to take lightly. I would not want to wish that upon anyone. Everyone needs to know there is a God out there that loves you and wants you. He is waiting for you with open arms. Freedom is only achieved through God and through him dreams, imagination, all things are possible. I share this story to show even a believer like me can still see unimaginable things. 

Sometimes I wish:

-I had the courage to follow my dreams instead of finding the stumbling blocks and using them to fuel my fears.

-I could just tattoo my whole body and give a rats ass about what people have to say.

-Drive an insanely fast car and have everyone envy me because cops won’t be able to pull me over.

-I could tell snobby rude people what I really think about them.

-Your outer appearance had nothing to do with who you are e.g. rappers graduating from Harvard or nerds being porn stars.

-Conspiracies didn’t exist. I wish people could tell the truth without feeling guilty about the consequences.

-I could live in Africa and take pictures of children all day.

-I could meet a celebrity that genuinely had a good heart and soul. Meaning they didn’t sell their soul to get all the riches and luxuries of the world.

-Things were backwards. To have money in college so you can support your explorations of the world rather than have it in your 30s and you’re too tired or busy popping out babies.

-We didn’t rely on technology so much. People used to write love notes not just ‘love you’ texts.

-People should have their licenses revoked because they need to be off the roads. Especially the ones who have nice cars like a Lexus or Mercedes. If you have a nice car you should learn to drive it, k thanks.

Random thoughts:

-I’m really excited for this summer! I feel like some of things on my bucket list are coming true! Next week I’m going to be spending 5 glorious days with my best friend building houses for people who really need them. I’ve been wanting to do Habitat for Humanity as soon as I heard about the organization and it seemed like so many obstacles were in the way. But, suddenly I get this amazing chance to help out! I’m beyond excited, I seriously can’t wait!!!

-This whole world is ending nonsense is just that, nonsense. There is only one person who knows when it will end and that is God. And that crazy “Christian” guy is talking out his butt. He thought the world was going to end in 1994 its been 7 years buddy. I feel like if the world doesn’t end today he’s going to add another 7 years. And not every Christian believes this guy. We also believe he’s insane. So please don’t pull all Christians into the same pool as this guy and think we’re all crazy. I don’t believe the world is ending in 2012 either. Why would God give a civilization that doesn’t exist anymore the answer? 

-I’ve been watching Law & Order SVU a lot lately! I mean a whole season in less than a week. I’ve watched episodes before but now I’m really hooked. I don’t know what it is but its seriously like a drug. I can’t stop at one episode. But, it made me realize that the law doesn’t always guarantee justice. Which is probably the saddest thing ever. If someone is wrongly accused for something it is 10 times harder to prove their innocence. Even if someone were to come out and said they did the crime. I wanted to be a lawyer growing up but after watching so much Law & Order I couldn’t imagine defending an innocent person but have them wrongly convicted.